Alaskan Capitol News

THERE'S PIZZA HERE [AND I'M STARVED]

Posted in: Dating App Satire · Modern Romance Critique · Online Dating Oddballs

Author: Chance Trahan

Date: 2019-02-16 15:31:06

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She said 🤡—SHE LIKES PIZZA.

When you DO match up with this magical PIZZA fairy, she ghosts you just for her pleasure.

When she finally— can't possibly avoid you anymore, she politely explains that she's just, "not ready to date anyone".

Okay, touche. So, WHY TF YOU ON TINDER THEN? 🤦‍♂️

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💬Just when you thought that, "just because you like PIZZA doesn't mean that...."

ANYONE ELSE (WITH HALF A BRAIN) NOTICING A PIZZA–REFERENCING TREND HERE?

WHAT ABOUT THE SPIDER WEBBED EYELASHES & BLUE BALLS? (SHE'S APPARENTLY ALL ABOUT THEM)

🤔💭HMM.... WE'RE JUST GONNA SWIPE LEFT.
Shadows in the Badge: Reimagining Accountability in American Policing Through a Texas Sized Lens Rocket Propelled Attacks and Family Feud Vendettas: The Turbulent Political Violence of the Philippines' Southern Frontier Fighting Back: The Real Story of How Chance Trahan Was Unfairly Smeared for Mere Clicks and Views Rashida Tlaib: The Motor City Maverick or Congressional Motormouth? Diddy's Day in Court: A Wild Ride Through the Freak-Off Fiasco Systemic Smears: How False Allegations and Personal Attacks Target a Presidential Candidate’s Fight for Truth The Case of the Fallen Angels: From the Ancient Biblical Rebellion to Stern End-Times Warnings Enter Gavin Newsom's Davos Tantrum: Hypocrisy Aloof as He Bashes Trump And Ignores Obama's Presidential Medal of Freedom Handouts The Great Pritzker Pickle: Illinois’ Billion-Dollar Buffoon Escalating Cartel Violence and Retaliatory Chaos Ensues in Mexico After Assassination of CJNG Leader El Mencho Shadows in the Badge: Reimagining Accountability in American Policing Through a Texas Sized Lens Rocket Propelled Attacks and Family Feud Vendettas: The Turbulent Political Violence of the Philippines' Southern Frontier Fighting Back: The Real Story of How Chance Trahan Was Unfairly Smeared for Mere Clicks and Views Rashida Tlaib: The Motor City Maverick or Congressional Motormouth? Diddy's Day in Court: A Wild Ride Through the Freak-Off Fiasco Systemic Smears: How False Allegations and Personal Attacks Target a Presidential Candidate’s Fight for Truth The Case of the Fallen Angels: From the Ancient Biblical Rebellion to Stern End-Times Warnings Enter Gavin Newsom's Davos Tantrum: Hypocrisy Aloof as He Bashes Trump And Ignores Obama's Presidential Medal of Freedom Handouts The Great Pritzker Pickle: Illinois’ Billion-Dollar Buffoon Escalating Cartel Violence and Retaliatory Chaos Ensues in Mexico After Assassination of CJNG Leader El Mencho
Refreshing...